The world must be filled with unsuccessful musical careers like mine, and it's probably a good thing. We don't need a lot of bad musicians filling the air with unnecessary sounds. Some of the professionals are bad enough. Andy Rooney airbadcareer share on social
The closing of a door can bring blessed privacy and comfort - the opening, terror. Conversely, the closing of a door can be a sad and final thing - the opening a wonderfully joyous moment. Andy Rooney blessbringclose Change image and share on social
Obscenities... I think a lot of dumb people do it because they can't think of what they want to say and they're frustrated. A lot of smart people do it to pretend they aren't very smart - want to be just one of the boys. Andy Rooney boydumbfrustrate share on social
We're all proud of making little mistakes. It gives us the feeling we don't make any big ones. Andy Rooney bigfeltmake Change image and share on social
The federal government has sponsored research that has produced a tomato that is perfect in every respect, except that you can't eat it. We should make every effort to make sure this disease, often referred to as 'progress', doesn't spread. Andy Rooney diseaseeateffort share on social
Most of us end up with no more than five or six people who remember us. Teachers have thousands of people who remember them for the rest of their lives. Andy Rooney endlivepeople Change image and share on social
Let's make a statement to the airlines just to get their attention. We'll pick a week next year and we'll all agree not to go anywhere for seven days. Andy Rooney agreeairlineattention Change image and share on social
I don't think the government is out to get me or help someone else get me but it wouldn't surprise me if they were out to sell me something or help someone else sell me something. I mean, why else would the Census Bureau want to know my telephone number? Andy Rooney bureaucensusgovernment share on social
I'm in a position of feeling secure enough so that I can say what I think is right and if so many people think it's wrong that I get fired, well, I've got enough to eat. Andy Rooney eatfeltfire Change image and share on social
Anyone who watches golf on television would enjoy watching the grass grow on the greens. Andy Rooney enjoygolfgrass Change image and share on social
