Top 47 Quotes by Andy Rooney

All men are not created equal but should be treated as though they were under the law.

The Super Bowl isn't for kids, I had a great time though and it was worth every nickel of it because by doing this lame piece about the game I can put it on my expense account.

If you smile when no one else is around, you really mean it.

Making duplicate copies and computer printouts of things no one wanted even one of in the first place is giving America a new sense of purpose.

Would a real man get caught eating a twinkie?

I didn't get old on purpose, it just happened. If you're lucky, it could happen to you.

It's paradoxical, that the idea of living a long life appeals to everyone, but the idea of getting old doesn't appeal to anyone.

If dogs could talk it would take a lot of the fun out of owning one.

I don't like food that's too carefully arranged; it makes me think that the chef is spending too much time arranging and not enough time cooking. If I wanted a picture I'd buy a painting.

We need people who can actually do things. We have too many bosses and too few workers.