Bennett Cerf

The person who can bring the spirit of laughter into a room is indeed blessed.

Fame - anyone who says he doesn't like it is crazy.

Good manners: The noise you don't make when you're eating soup.

I'd date someone younger or older; age doesn't matter to me. Or looks, really - it's all about maturity.

I'm tall, fat, rather bald, red-faced, double-chinned, black-haired, have a deep voice, and wear glasses for reading.

Most of the time, if you ask a kid who's their best friend, it's usually a classmate or their neighbor or something, but for me, it was my granddad. Everybody knew him - they called him Mr. Jones.