I got into stand-up because I love stand-up. Specifically in stand-up, I love jokes. I love short, structured ideas and a punch line. Demetri Martin ideajokeline Change image and share on social
I was student council president in high school, and even in law school, I was vice-president of the student bar association. Demetri Martin associationbarcouncil Change image and share on social
A lot of people like lollipops. I don't like lollipops. To me, a lollipop is hard candy plus garbage. I don't need a handle. Just give me the candy. Demetri Martin candygarbagegive Change image and share on social
They say that structure is freedom, and in a sense it is. When you're dealing with multiple constraints, you have to figure out what you can get out of that. Demetri Martin constraintdealfigure Change image and share on social
But what I was going to say was, I just figured I'm going to go boldly in the direction of my dreams, say it as Thoreau would say, and just see where it takes me. Demetri Martin boldlydirectiondream Change image and share on social
As a comic, I think I'm very verbally oriented about a lot of the stuff that I've written or thought up and how I say it. Demetri Martin comichavelot Change image and share on social
I wonder what the most intelligent thing ever said was that started with the word 'dude.' 'Dude, these are isotopes.' 'Dude, we removed your kidney. You're gonna be fine.' 'Dude, I am so stoked to win this Nobel Prize. I just wanna thank Kevin, and Turtle, and all my homies.' Demetri Martin dudefinegonna share on social
But I found that disappointing people is a good thing, because disapproval is freedom. Demetri Martin disappointdisapprovalfind Change image and share on social
I wasn't even a big comedy nerd. A lot of the comedians I know - a lot of my friends are comedians - they knew a lot about comedy growing up. Demetri Martin bigcomediancomedy Change image and share on social
I like to use 'I Can't Believe it's Not Butter' on my toast in the morning, because sometimes when I eat breakfast, I like to be incredulous. How was breakfast? Unbelievable. Demetri Martin breakfastbuttereat Change image and share on social
