Getting out of the hospital is a lot like resigning from a book club. You're not out of it until the computer says you're out of it. Erma Bombeck bookclubcomputer Change image and share on social
Car designers are just going to have to come up with an automobile that outlasts the payments. Erma Bombeck automobilecardesigner Change image and share on social
Why would anyone steal a shopping cart? It's like stealing a two-year-old. Erma Bombeck cartshopsteal Change image and share on social
When your mother asks, 'Do you want a piece of advice?' it is a mere formality. It doesn't matter if you answer yes or no. You're going to get it anyway. Erma Bombeck adviceanswerask Change image and share on social
Most women put off entertaining until the kids are grown. Erma Bombeck entertaingrowkid Change image and share on social
How come anything you buy will go on sale next week? Erma Bombeck buysaleweek Change image and share on social
Some say our national pastime is baseball. Not me. It's gossip. Erma Bombeck baseballgossipnational Change image and share on social
I was terrible at straight items. When I wrote obituaries, my mother said the only thing I ever got them to do was die in alphabetical order. Erma Bombeck alphabeticaldieitem Change image and share on social
My theory on housework is, if the item doesn't multiply, smell, catch fire, or block the refrigerator door, let it be. No one else cares. Why should you? Erma Bombeck blockcarecatch Change image and share on social
What's with you men? Would hair stop growing on your chest if you asked directions somewhere? Erma Bombeck askchestdirection Change image and share on social
