When a child is locked in the bathroom with water running and he says he's doing nothing but the dog is barking, call 911. Erma Bombeck barkbathroomcall Change image and share on social
Before you try to keep up with the Joneses, be sure they're not trying to keep up with you. Erma Bombeck jonese Change image and share on social
I will buy any creme, cosmetic, or elixir from a woman with a European accent. Erma Bombeck accentbuycosmetic Change image and share on social
All of us have moments in our lives that test our courage. Taking children into a house with a white carpet is one of them. Erma Bombeck carpetchildcourage Change image and share on social
Never lend your car to anyone to whom you have given birth. Erma Bombeck birthcarlend Change image and share on social
Humorists can never start to take themselves seriously. It's literary suicide. Erma Bombeck humoristliterarystart Change image and share on social
Who in their infinite wisdom decreed that Little League uniforms be white? Certainly not a mother. Erma Bombeck decreeinfiniteleague Change image and share on social
Like religion, politics, and family planning, cereal is not a topic to be brought up in public. It's too controversial. Erma Bombeck bringcerealcontroversial Change image and share on social
People shop for a bathing suit with more care than they do a husband or wife. The rules are the same. Look for something you'll feel comfortable wearing. Allow for room to grow. Erma Bombeck bthecarecomfortable Change image and share on social
