Don't confuse fame with success. Madonna is one; Helen Keller is the other. Erma Bombeck confusefamehelen Change image and share on social
Marriage has no guarantees. If that's what you're looking for, go live with a car battery. Erma Bombeck batterycarguarantee Change image and share on social
I take a very practical view of raising children. I put a sign in each of their rooms: 'Checkout Time is 18 years.' Erma Bombeck checkoutchildpractical Change image and share on social
No one ever died from sleeping in an unmade bed. I have known mothers who remake the bed after their children do it because there is wrinkle in the spread or the blanket is on crooked. This is sick. Erma Bombeck bedblanketchild Change image and share on social
Thanksgiving dinners take eighteen hours to prepare. They are consumed in twelve minutes. Half-times take twelve minutes. This is not coincidence. Erma Bombeck coincidenceconsumedinner Change image and share on social
A grandmother pretends she doesn't know who you are on Halloween. Erma Bombeck grandmotherhalloweenpretend Change image and share on social
Someone once threw me a small, brown, hairy kiwi fruit, and I threw a wastebasket over it until it was dead. Erma Bombeck browndeadfruit Change image and share on social
