George Carlin

Electricity is really just organized lightning.

I would never want to be a member of a group whose symbol was a guy nailed to two pieces of wood.

Death is caused by swallowing small amounts of saliva over a long period of time.

It is hardly surprising that women concentrate on the way they look instead of what is in their minds since not much has been put in their minds to begin with.

Homosexuality is anti-humanity.

Alzheimer's disease starts when a protein that should be folded up properly misfolds into a kind of demented origami.