George Carlin

Electricity is really just organized lightning.

I would never want to be a member of a group whose symbol was a guy nailed to two pieces of wood.

Death is caused by swallowing small amounts of saliva over a long period of time.

Lying, stealing, and cheating are commonplace.

Most detective story readers are an educated audience and know there are only a certain number of plots. The interest lies in what the writer does with them.

I'm Bam Margera. And I feel like kicking my dad's butt all day today.