I was thinking about how people seem to read the Bible a whole lot more as they get older; then it dawned on me - they're cramming for their final exam. George Carlin biblecramdawn Change image and share on social
Well, if crime fighters fight crime and fire fighters fight fire, what do freedom fighters fight? They never mention that part to us, do they? George Carlin crimefightfighter Change image and share on social
Death is caused by swallowing small amounts of saliva over a long period of time. George Carlin amountcausedeath Change image and share on social
The very existence of flame-throwers proves that some time, somewhere, someone said to themselves, You know, I want to set those people over there on fire, but I'm just not close enough to get the job done. George Carlin closeexistencefire share on social
Not only do I not know what's going on, I wouldn't know what to do about it if I did. George Carlin Change image and share on social
Electricity is really just organized lightning. George Carlin electricitylightningorganize Change image and share on social
People who say they don't care what people think are usually desperate to have people think they don't care what people think. George Carlin caredesperatepeople Change image and share on social
When you're born you get a ticket to the freak show. When you're born in America, you get a front row seat. George Carlin americabearfreak Change image and share on social
Some people see things that are and ask, Why? Some people dream of things that never were and ask, Why not? Some people have to go to work and don't have time for all that. George Carlin dreampeoplething Change image and share on social
I would never want to be a member of a group whose symbol was a guy nailed to two pieces of wood. George Carlin groupguymember Change image and share on social
