Jane Austen

I have been a selfish being all my life, in practice, though not in principle.

For what do we live, but to make sport for our neighbors and laugh at them in our turn?

Single women have a dreadful propensity for being poor. Which is one very strong argument in favor of matrimony.

America will never be destroyed from the outside. If we falter and lose our freedoms, it will be because we destroyed ourselves.

Live Below the Line raises real money to help the world's poorest people, but it is also a symbolic demonstration aimed at highlighting - not replicating - the plight of the world's poor.

I don't make much distinction between being a stand-up comic and acting Shakespeare - in fact, unless you're a good comedian, you're never going to be able to play Hamlet properly.