Top 21 Quotes by Jasper Carrott

I used to be a columnist for 'Golf Monthly' and have contributed articles for national newspapers based on the humour that is in abundance in the game, which is more than can be said of tennis.

I have that working class fear of having nothing. I've always got one eye on what's in the bank.

The impact of T.V. on our lives in general gets most things out of proportion.

My driving habits are so ingrained that the driving examiner would fail me in the first mile. That's provided he hadn't died of a heart attack by then.

I have to confess here that I am a useless cook.

Laughter is the best medicine - unless you're diabetic, then insulin comes pretty high on the list.

I have been known to play a few rounds in my time. I'm not obsessive; I don't play in the dark, but even that's not out of the question because Stevie Wonder is also a golfer.

I was never the class clown, and I've no idea where the comedy came from.

I want to do things I enjoy, and show business comes fifth or sixth down the line.

I've always been sensible with my money. I can't say I'm a business genius.