Judith Martin

Parents should conduct their arguments in quiet, respectful tones, but in a foreign language. You'd be surprised what an inducement that is to the education of children.

Chaperons, even in their days of glory, were almost never able to enforce morality; what they did was to force immorality to be discreet. This is no small contribution.

You do not have to do everything disagreeable that you have a right to do.

I'm building a glass pyramid over the Egyptian escalator where my body will be mummified, so my customers can come and see me forever.

Be polite; write diplomatically; even in a declaration of war one observes the rules of politeness.