Robert Benchley

Anyone can do any amount of work, provided it isn't the work he is supposed be doing at that moment.

Opera is where a guy gets stabbed in the back, and instead of dying, he sings.

For a nation which has an almost evil reputation for bustle, bustle, bustle, and rush, rush, rush, we spend an enormous amount of time standing around in line in front of windows, just waiting.

Why do men fight who were born to be brothers?

Old age treats freelance writers pretty gently.