Top 37 Quotes by Robert Benchley

Most of the arguments to which I am party fall somewhat short of being impressive, owing to the fact that neither I nor my opponent knows what we are talking about.

I do most of my work sitting down; that's where I shine.

Great literature must spring from an upheaval in the author's soul. If that upheaval is not present then it must come from the works of any other author which happens to be handy and easily adapted.

Why don't you get out of that wet coat and into a dry martini?

For a nation which has an almost evil reputation for bustle, bustle, bustle, and rush, rush, rush, we spend an enormous amount of time standing around in line in front of windows, just waiting.

If Mr. Einstein doesn't like the natural laws of the universe, let him go back to where he came from.

The biggest obstacle to professional writing is the necessity for changing a typewriter ribbon.

I have tried to know absolutely nothing about a great many things, and I have succeeded fairly well.

In a house where there are small children the bathroom soon takes on the appearance of the Old Curiosity Shop.

You might think that after thousands of years of coming up too soon and getting frozen, the crocus family would have had a little sense knocked into it.