Top 102 Quotes by Roseanne Barr

In order to be able to write a good joke, you have to find the truth.

I do say that I am in favor of the return of the guillotine and that is for the worst of the worst of the guilty.

I'm very introspective, and I mostly don't talk to people. I get into a real quiet, meditative place.

I never do anything fun, because I'm a housewife. I hate that word 'housewife.' I prefer to be called 'domestic goddess.'

I consider myself to be a pretty good judge of people... that's why I don't like any of them.

After my 1985 appearance on 'The Tonight Show Starring Johnny Carson,' I was wooed by producers in Hollywood, who told me they wanted to turn my act into a sitcom.

Since I had my gastric bypass surgery in 1998, I eat like a bird. Unfortunately, that bird is a California condor.

You can always get better. Nobody can stop you from getting better, and nobody can stop you from trying to make something right.

One of the first things I bought when I made 'Roseanne Show' money was a farm in Iowa.

I always was a writer, but then I wanted to do stand-up because I thought that was a way that I could perform what I wrote.